The life and times of a half demon spy
by EmoWithASpork
Summary: Tootie Flannagan the little sister of Vicky... or is she? fairly odd parents crossover! parings:creek,dip,Gregory/Ze Mole,kyle/oc,timmy/tootie or tootie/kenny might be bunny or timmy/chester
1. another day another crazy chick

**lu lu lu I got some apples lu lu lu you do too heh I love butters anyways.I don't own fairly odd parents or south park!**

Tootie's pov.

My life life sucks...assmonkeys. I mean seriously I live in Dimsdale full of shallow retards who don't care about anything but them-selfs.

Speaking of shallow retards lets talk about the queen Trixie Tang. Let me brake this down for you she's popular,pretty,and everything  
you wish you could be...or that's what people here think and obviously that's not me. Apparently I'm the only one who thinks this because  
how could someone so *gag* pretty be mean...fucking easily!But this is Dimsdale so no one seems to notice this fact.

Especially the guys here...dumb ass horny bastards. While I'm at it there's someone else I want to rant about Timmy Turner.  
He's probably the most self-absorbed asshole I've ever met and thats saying something.I am ashamed to say I actually had a crush on him  
when I first moved here. That's right I'm not Vicky's little sister I'm not even related to the bitch!

Anyway about Turner I only actually liked his eyes because they reminded me of _his. _One big difference Timmy Turner's an asshole!  
So now I only act like I like him to keep a low profile..and it's fucking hilarious to watch him freak out.

God!The only reason I'm even here in this shit hole is because of Vicky.I was hired by her parents to get the proof I need that she's evil.  
yeah that's hard.

So three years I've been stuck here waiting for her to fuck up enough to give the cops what they need to bust her...with a fake name of course.  
Deep-toot.

And todays the day,there are stories going around saying she hit someone,even left a bruise...about fucking time.I'm going to the  
police-station now. Later Vicky It's been Fun.

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**yeah I know it's not very long the other chapters should probably be longer anyway I wanted to do a south park fop mix for a while now  
****I just got lazy read and review PLEASE!! **


	2. texting fun,fun for everyone

**I don't own fairly odd parents or south park!**

Tootie's pov.

Well that was fun. Vicky actually blamed television for why she was scarring those kids both mentally and psychically. What an ass hole.  
Anyway now I have a new problem. How the fuck do I get home.I ponder this predicament in class (god forbid after all this we get a vacation)  
and come up with a solution. Call Gregory. I mean it's his fucking fault I'm here anyways. So as quietly as possible I reach into my pocket and  
grab my phone. I call him Flippy.

_I need a ride!! _There short,simple and to the point.

_And? _I hate him so,so much.

_Listen dick face I've been here 3 fucking years and I want a ride home!_ obviously he was pissing me off...alot.

_well someone's on there period_

My teacher (if you can say that nut job is a teacher...with a strait face) comes up to me. oh I'm shaking. not.  
"Miss Flannagan what were you doing texting in my class FAIRY GOD PARENTS!!!"  
resiting the urge to laugh I put on my most innocent expersion I got and say " I'm sorry Mr. Crocker it was my dad saying he can't pick me up."  
He searches my face for any lies and doesn't find any. Idiot. "hmm fine don't do it again!"  
"yes Mr. Crocker." So the second he turns his head I flip my phone up and text Gregory again.

_Listen ok I been here too long and I don't want to raise any suspicion by just not showing up the next day,so please just give me a ride home.  
_I had to beg ugh sooo not in my blood.

The intercom came on.

"GOOD NEWS STUDENTS WE'RE GOING ON A CLASS FIELD TRIP TOMORROW TO SOUTH PARK COLORADO I'VE ALREADY CALLED YOUR PARENTS  
SO WE'RE ENDING SCHOOL EARLY SO YOU CAN PACK!REMEMBER TO DRESS WARMLY AND WE'LL BE THERE A WEEK!  
Just then the bell rang signalling us to go home.  
As everyone races home I silently reach in my pocket and take out my phone and grin.

_Considerate done._

...

...

I Love that guy.

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**yeah I know it's still not very long umm so If Timmy's not with Tootie I'm ethier going to put him with Molly or Chester I dont know I need  
your opinions :) **

******read and review PLEASE!! **


	3. WHY GOD WHY!

**I don't own fairly odd parents or south park!**

Timmy's pov.

Awesome a field trip to...where was it again oh who cares it'll be awesome!  
This'll be the perfect opportunity to get Trixie to go out with me and then we can watch the stars and just cuddle.  
hmmm what to pack?The announcement said to dress warm sooo....oh who cares I'll just have Wanda pack for me!:)

So early next morning I come to school with Chester and A.J. and we wait. They start talking quietly about something...I don't know I wasn't listening. I turn and see Tootie walking towards us CRAP!I wince and close my eyes waiting for her to attack me..any second now...what the? I open my eyes and she's just staring at me amused(I know a big word score!)with a raised eyebrow. I blink once,twice. Now she looks bored yet excited ...OH MY GOD SHE'S GOING TO...TO...TO...I DON'T KNOW BUT IT'LL SCAR ME FOR LIFE!!But she doesn't do anything just takes off her back pack and goes to sit on the steps as people start showing up and Trixie comes over looking as beautiful as ever and OH MY GOD SHE'S...going to walk right pass me over to the popular crowd as Crocker comes up to us and says he's going to announce who sits with who on the bus ride over there(A/N: um I don't know where Dimsdale's supposed to be so I'm just gonna say it takes 2 hours to get there anyone care...no good)Yes he'll put Trixie with me and then she'll have to talk to me!I smiled."Timmy Turner and Tootie Flannagan."My expression did a 180 turn. WHY GOD WHY!!!So we sit down and she doesn't even glance at me. She must be sick.

When the bus takes off she zips open her book bag and takes out a notebook(that movie sucked by the way...Wanda made me watch it.)  
When she opens it I stare in complete awe as each page is a perfectly drawn picture some happy, others...not so happy.  
She turns to a new page and starts to sketch. I don't know what it's suppose to be but then it turns into a girl being pulled down  
by...something I don't know. The girl's arm is raised like she's reaching up to the sky. she draws a hand reaching to take her awa-  
"like something you see?"Tootie said pulling me from my thoughts."huh?" came my brilliant response(another big word!).She rolled her eyes.  
Tootie Flannagan rolled her eyes. At me. "The picture Instine, you were staring at it."Did she just insult me am I in a parallel universe again?  
"Oh sorry um were did you learn to draw it's really good."I asked."Oh um I just taught myself why?"she seemed skeptical(man I'm on a roll today)  
that I was even talking to her."no reason just wondering."Thus ending our conversation. She nodded at me and took out her phone it's a nice  
looking phone actually. I took out mine and texted Chester about the game next week.(A/N:don't know sports at all so bye)Trixie looks over at  
Tootie and laughs. "who are you talking to Flannagan your daddy?"Why is she being so mean?Why do I care?I look at Tootie half expecting  
her to be crying but instead she seems to be having an inner battle(whatever that means).Finally she sighs and glares at Trixie and said  
"A)Don't fucking talk to me B)I was talking to my friend in south park letting him know I'm on the bus and C)It's fucking winter in south park so maybe instead of giving blow-jobs in the back ally of the school you should be more worried about how cold your gonna be in like twenty minutes."  
And with that she took her Ipod out of her bag and turned the music all the way up while everyone went into shock. When we Finally get off the bus Tootie smiles and then freezes as some guy comes up to us and gives her a hug.

Tootie's pov.

This morning I say good bye to the Flannagans and they thank me for my help and say that I'm always welcome there and I respond by saying  
that if they run into more trouble that they know how to contact me.  
And now I'm walking to 'school' now.I'm wearing the style of clothes I used to wear before I came here. A white coat,light pink shirt and blue jeans and my normal black boots. I still have braces on and keep my hair in pig-tales as not to raise suspicion only instead of green ties I use 2 silky pink ones. All in all I think I look cute.

Finally I get to that hell hole they call an education system and walk over to Turner and watch as he squeezes his eyes close so tight I think he might pee himself.  
I manage not to laugh and instead I just raise an eyebrow. He opens his eyes and blinks at me. Well this is boring.I shake off my back pack(the only thing's I bothered to keep are in there,which isn't much)and go sit on the steps looking at people who are just now showing up and here comes Tang wearing a fucking white mini skirt and a purple tank top...is she retarded...yes,yes she is .She goes bye Turner and he smiles lovingly at her till she walks by him without saying a word to him and goes by her friends and I see her smile as his face falls. Bitch.  
Crock-pot comes and tells us he's assigning seats and Turner's face just lights up...till crocker says it's me. cry me a river.  
As we sit on the bus I feel him look at me.I ignore it. Finally the bus takes off and I say good-bye to this shity town and pull out at my notebook  
it's completely black and I love it so.I turn to a new page and he's still looking at me.I ignore it and start drawing.  
I draw this girl screaming out for help as the darkness drags her down to hell. She reaches out her hand,a quiet plea for help...someone's arm descends down not able to reach...and he's still looking."like something you see?" I ask."huh?" Not to bright in the answer department is he?I roll my eyes at him. He's shocked I can tell.I don't care."The picture Instine, you were staring at it."why am I wasting my time talking to this ass hole again?"Oh sorry um were did you learn to draw it's really good."Did he just complement me?skeptic at his answer I carefully say"Oh um I just taught myself why?" "no reason just wondering."O..k that was weird I take out my phone and text Damien telling him it'll be like twenty minutes.

Damien is my actual half brother along with Hope (it was a joke dad made demons and hope right ha) my twin sister. The only difference between the three of us is Damien has black eyes and Hope and I have violet eyes. Tang apparently bored starts talking shit to me...again."who are you talking to Flannagan your daddy?"ugh I hate her. I should brake her seat, have them laugh at her for once.I'm the demon of bad luck,Damien can control the elements, Hope can fuck with your mind,read emotions, move things, stuff like that which is why I don't have to text her she can just open a mind link.I come to the conclusion that if I fuck with her seat then we'll have to stop the bus and it'll take even longer to get home so instead I reply"A)Don't fucking talk to me B)I was talking to my friend in south park letting him know I'm on the bus and C)It's fucking winter in south park so maybe instead of giving blow-jobs in the back ally of the school you should be more worried about how cold your gonna be in like twenty minutes."  
And everything goes silent so I take out my Ipod and crank that shit up!Then we're finally here.I hop off the bus and smile breathing in the mountain air.I turn and freeze as _he _walks over and _he_ pulls me into a hug.

I meet _his _blue eyes.

_He _smiles at me.

"I missed you"_he _mumbles not letting go of me.

_"Kenny" _I whisper.

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**Cliff hanger!**

**wasn't that just awesome**

**crowd:NOO!! **

**oh who asked ya!?**

***cough*anyway I'm on a roll today and who saw that it was gonna be Kenny**

**crowd:US!**

**SHUT UP!**

**anyway two chapter's in one day yowzer!**

**wellp read and review please I don't have one review yet epic fail!**


	4. I'm Back!

**So my bro's and their friends are getting drunk so I decided to do another chapter**

**I don't own south park I know sad right?**

_"Kenny"_

I knew he'd be here. Of course he would, but I hurt cause I missed him. I was trying not to cry as he pulled away and grinned at me like I wasn't gone for 3 miserable years.  
"Hey beautiful, how you been?" He asked in that suave voice of his. I could tell Trixie was steaming- I mean, how dare I talk to a cute boy? I looked in his blue eyes and said, sarcastically, "Oh, wonderful, I've had a blast."  
His grin grew. "Good…" He trailed off.  
"What?" He was looking me over, that pervert. He grabbed one of my pig-tails and twirled it."I like the pig tails. Kinda kinky." I couldn't help it when he looked all cereal, I just lost it and started to laugh my ass off.  
"God, Ken, you're such a perv." I said between giggles. "So how long you got to live this time?" I asked off-handedly. He smirked and said, "Well I made a deal yesterday-in hell-and I'll be here all week."  
"Really?!" I asked. Kenny for ya, always shocking you. He nodded.  
"But here's the catch, I'm your tour guide." ...Wait  
"So.."  
"Yep I'm your bitch." He said with his head down. "As it should be." I nodded. He laughed and beckoned to us.

"So, what I miss?" I asked while we were walking downtown. He gave me that heart-melting smile of his and said, "Oh, nothing a little Style, Dip, Creek, Cutters, Stonovan ,Webe, Ze mole/Gregory." I gave a shit eating grin and shouted, "TOKEN BLACK, YOU OWE ME 80 BUCKS!!!"  
Kenny raised an eye brow and asked "You made a bet?"  
"Yep on Creek, knew it would happen, Token didn't believe me and now I get $80." I smiled happily. "So like how do you know these people?" Tang asked annoyingly. Shit what was my story… "Um The private school I went to was around here." I said, bored-sounding. "Oh by the way to make up for where I'm about to take you..well you'll see."He said with a grin."what are you-MMHHFF!"I was suddenly aware there was an extra pair of lips on mine. He let go and took off. 'My class' looked at me as my jaw dropped. He came back and pulled me along. Cause my brain has to recharge from that kiss. When I came to I found out where he was taking us...well fuck.

We were going to school...on our vacation...really? I glared and flipped off the sky, and said, "Stop fucking with me." Everyone looked at me funny. I shrugged and walked in. Lets see… Garrison, Garrison, Garrison, ah there we are! And oh look… It has a dick this time. Call the presses! I walk in and everything goes quiet until...  
"You're back! I thought you might live through it, how was the ride?" Gregory asked with a charming smile. I respond by flipping him off, stealing Christophe's cigarette, taking a huge puff, and sitting down. "Ey, no smoking in my class!" Mr.(for now)Garrison shouted. I rolled my eyes and tossed him a pack that was in my pocket. He nodded and said, "Well alright then."  
'My class' stared at me in disbelief. I grinned at them and waved. "You dumb-asses gonna stand there all day or what?".  
"What's going on? who are you?!" Timmy asked, confused, or horrified, I don't care which. I smiled "Tiffany. Tiffany Lucille Thorn." They looked at me confused. I looked at Gregory and he nodded. I smirked and continued. "And I'm your worst enemy." Tang snorted,"And why's that?"She smirked,"I mean besides having to look at you all day you're nothing but a harmless little puppy dog." The guys looked at me waiting for me to snap as Damien's eyes turned red. I laughed. "You really don't wanna fuck with me Tang."I warned. "And why's that?"She asked in that snotty tone of hers. I grinned "Because"I snapped my fingers and Garrison's desk broke in half."You just don't wanna fuck with the daughter of Satan."I said as they stared at me in horror. Oh yes this will be fun.

**Dun Dun Duh!**


End file.
